Poetry

Listening to: Kathleen (David Gray)

These are not all of my poetry from my notebook. I'll add more when I get around to it. This goes the same for the rest of my similarly titled posts.

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Everyone fears be undoubtedly flawed
yet we are all one
magnificent people externally
all our blood is red
mortal torment makes conformity
bringing opposites together, inevitably
we are all so good at existance
but where is the passion?
and who is to say when love is real?
what is accomplishment?
words, words, words, actions, painful, heartwrenching, words

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It can be so lonely in your head
engulfed by secrets left unsaid
who is to know? who can you blame?
what is the truth?
are all people the same?
image is one thing, but how irrelevant
in what makes us human, it's one small component
our souls are worth much more
yet always overlooked
years full of pain
hung on your hook
well, we all have our vices
and our own reasons why
for our actions in life
but everything dies

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Elysian peace is what I seek,
a prideless prize without critique,
of pestering peers, and troubled tomorrows,
far from anguish, and fear and sorrows.
A sheer mask laid over my heart,
deadening feeling when I depart.
Away from the crowds, away from the rush.
Almost a shield, unable to crush.
It cradles me, allows me to emote,
working as my favorite scapegoat.
My pretend life as one without care,
allowing me to believe the world may be fair.

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I wish I flowed through your veins
and the cuts under your sleeves bled me
and you noticed how close I wish I could be
to your frail existance
and I wish I held you together
like the glue you so need
it would be lovely, indeed
to be what kept you from falling apart and breaking

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I fall apart
pieces of who I was, pieces of who I am
kill the demons that tear at my flesh
and rip my soul to empty me
rid me of emotion
and accuse my maker
these abrasions tattoo skin
thick skin and ugliness
open wounds to punish yourself
worthless and terrible
wreckless and unbearable
painfully empty

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Mechanical brains, taught to think the same
rolling through motions like wheels on a train
think nothing of a major ordain
and kill yourself a little more everyday
nobody hears your cries
nobody seems to live for love
the sound of the bottle is music
be afraid
heartless monsters will eat you up
and demolish, corrupt
they lead you and feed you
to make you not feel
and hide the pain that you can't conceal

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In my head
visions collect in my brain
torment and tease me
makes me insane
I've become my worse nightmare
part of the walking dead
seeing in black and white
pixelated memory fading away
I won't fight for them anymore
absorb the madness that makes it alright
so I can breathe again
inhale, exhale
automatic system
God's given right
your day is my night
I live by the moon,
if I'm living at all
clocks seem to tick backwards
and I walk the same way
I still can't find the right words to say
nothing can make this go away

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Her eyes seen more than you would in nine lives
you wouldn't believe the tears they've cried
and the grins of people you couldn't call sane
and the infinite sky pounding down rain
kaleidoscope eyes, full of sadness
colors meshing into blurry madness
of sights, thoughts, visions, no one should see
and unacceptable reality